AN EXCERPT FROM KANDUDE or OPTIMISM IN OUR TIME

Naive Kandude ventures a question to Professor Doctor Westmannischer, Christian election law expert at the Beeritage Foundation (funded by the Beers Family Endowment Sons of Adolph):

Kandude, with some trepidation, felt the need to ask a question. “If we are to serve a noble cause, should we not have noble leaders? Though I understand that much of the news is fake, I have heard that President Tantor von Pyubengrabbler cheats on his wife, sexually abuses women, cheats at golf and business, is a convicted felon, and almost never tells the truth.”

There was dead silence for a full minute.

“Just among us, and forever to go unspoken outside our sacred trust,” said the Professor Doctor, “it is true that President TvP is not a person that we would even think about allowing in the same state as a Christian summer camp attended by our daughters. Nor is he a man upon whom we would rely upon to better understand history, economics, filling out a golf scorecard, law, theology, civility, ethnology, phonetics, autobiography, current events that aren’t about him, or geopolitics. Regrettably, he does not actually give a tinker’s damn about the Good People. He has never, and will never, sit down in a local cafe with some hayseeds in Ogallala and have a corn dog while listening to or understanding their concerns.” ….

“It is important to keep in mind,” continued the Professor Doctor, “that our Good People, White Christian Americans, though pure of heart, are not great thinkers. Indeed, the majority of people are not capable of thinking, but only of believing.”

“Our Good People, especially the legion of forgotten men, do not require or even want petty facts, statistics, or policy arguments. They want to be restored to their proper place as the dominant and rightful citizens of a White Christian Nation. When it comes to informing and mobilizing our believers, an ounce of patriotic emotion outweighs a ton of facts. Slogans trump philosophy. Colorful banners vanquish learned manifestos. Uniforms and flags are more powerful than books. Propositions aligned with legitimate White Christian aspirations and a higher Truth must be wielded like hammers until they pound malleable minds into the right shape, which, once taken, is almost impossible to alter. These realities place a heavy and sacred burden on our leadership. They also dictate the tools that can and must be used to forge our destiny.”