Once the floodwaters had receded, buses provided by FEMA and local churches arrived to transport stranded fire and flood victims to safety. Kandude and Professor B were given bottles of water and power bars and driven to a school being used as a shelter and transfer station in South LA. On the way to the shelter, Kandude saw that large numbers of people who appeared to be hanging out listlessly on the streets or occupying vast tent camps under highway overpasses. These encampments did not appear to be a result of the recent disasters; indeed, they looked rather permanent.
“What is happening with all these tents and sidewalk people?” he asked Professor B.
“This is a widespread and regrettable situation, Kandude,” answered the Professor. “These are the homeless, whose numbers are vast and growing. Unfortunately, these people have been unwilling or unable to inherit or earn enough money to pay fair market value for housing, consequently they are unable to negotiate leases or purchase agreements. Instead of rectifying their situation by successfully participating in free markets, they live on the streets, in parks, and shelters, and depend on government handouts and charity. Many of them have, alas, made this a permanent lifestyle. It’s difficult to see, I know – these tent communities and cardboard boxes are quite unsightly.”
“Are you saying that these people deserve their difficult conditions, Professor?” asked Kandude. “This all seems most unpleasant, and I find it hard to believe that many people would choose such a plight.”
“As always, you show a good heart and a concern for the human condition Kandude,” replied the Professor. “However, these are the consequences of individual choices and necessary market forces. However harsh it may seem; we know that some must fall by the wayside in order to allow the success of the greater number. After all, all is for the best in this best of all capitalist worlds.”
After arriving at the shelter, they were given lemonade and a hearty casserole and by some nice ladies and provided with toothbrushes and soap. They spent the night sleeping on cots in the gymnasium with other survivors, many of whom had tragic stories. The next morning, they were able to get a ride from a church volunteer to the campus of Ebola Christian University. There they were warmly greeted by Professor B’s friend Stephnut Hatetiller, a former political advisor to past, present and future One True President Tantor von Pyubengrabbler and now Distinguished West Coast Fellow of the Beeritage Foundation.
Fellow Hatetiller was horrified by Professor B’s condition as well as their ragged predicament. Using the Foundation’s emergency PAC fund, he took Professor B to the ECU medical center for a checkup, and then brought both men to Macy’s for new clothes and appointments. Then they stopped at Denny’s for Lumberjack Slams. There, Professor B and Kandude shared much of what had befallen them.
Fellow H was shocked and appalled by their suffering. However, he did mildly remonstrate Kandude for his poor performance with the BoyzenBerries. “I am afraid that some of our patriot vanguard can be a little overzealous at times,” said Fellow H, “but the Boyzenberries are ideologically sound and capable of necessary action. I heard that the UP Chapter is now mostly in jail or in the hospital. This most regrettable. Perhaps we can find a better fit for you, Dude, as you seem like a fine young White man with a great potential.”
Fellow H brought his two friends back to his guest offices at ECU, where they settled into the nicely appointed Wannsee Conference room which had many American and Evergreen tree flags.
“Now Bert (as his oldest friends called Cuthbert Bloughgazz),” he said, “because of your well-regarded scholarship in White Christian capitalism, I’m sure we can arrange an academic appointment for you post haste at a fine Christian university. Dude, I will see if I can get you a position as an assistant coach of the ECU 10-meter diving team until we can forge a more active path for you in the battle to restore the America of our White Christian founders.
In the meantime, I want to share with you the Secret Master Plan for the Restoration of White Christian America,” – his voice deepened here – “Total Solution 2028.” I am sure you have heard about an aligned Project with a starter agenda and an earlier timetable, but Total Solution 2028 is, in fact, the real deal.
Fellow H continued, “Though we recognize the political need for transitional plans and temporary diplomacy, TS2028 is the ultimate blueprint of our sacred, God-given movement. It boldly and clearly sets forth our goals, which, after you sign this Sacred Oath of Loyalty and Discretion (“SOLD”), I will proudly share with you.” Professor B signed with alacrity. Kandude signed with some inarticulable trepidation but with complete trust in Professor B’s wisdom.